Bittersweet
by MissNatalia
Summary: post serenity, by default a spoiler. three chapters so far, dunno how many more. mainly bout Zoe. finally put up chapters 2 and three
1. Chapter 1

She could here them coming. Reavers, everywhere she looked. They were in front of them, to the back of them, just everywhere. Zoë wasn't naïve enough to believe she was making it out alive. A suicide mission was a suicide mission and she had already survived more than her share. Who knew, maybe luck was still on her side but, she wasn't counting on it. Her only hope was that her courage held through and she went down fighting. More secretly than that was the hope that the rest of the crew especially her husband Wash survived.

Zoë Washburne never fought a battle that she didn't believe in. This was no exception. Everything in her life had been a struggle but, it only served to make her appreciate what she had that much more. It was the way she had developed her identity, given herself a name. Before the war, she had been the bastard daughter of a well known member of Alliance and the mercenary aboard a Dragonfly class ship that was well known in the 'Verse as a smuggling ship. She never had a last name, her mother; who's only identity was a first name, Alley. Zoë saw her mother gunned down when she was only 14 and stayed aboard the ship for a few more years taking over her mother's job.

When the war started Zoë thought she'd found her way of getting back at the Alliance for taking her mother from her. She volunteered using the name Zoë Alleyne. She was a Corporal before she knew what had happened. It was only Zoe and her Sergeant, Malcolm Reynolds where the only known members of the 57th Overlanders after the Battle of Serenity Valley, the namesake of the ship she now traveled with. It was that beaten up firefly class ship that got her live back together after the war was over. With her mother dead and no revenge to be had on a mystery she didn't know how she would hold her own.

The day she met her future husband, with his caterpillar mustache and loud, obnoxious Hawaiian print shirts there was something a might unnerving about him. All she knew to do was insult him but, he always managed to give her a run for her money when she engaged him in a batter of wits, while keeping the ship flying. There was something about this man; she soon discovered it was. He was unpredictable, naïve, and warm. Three things she didn't see often.

The insults kept flying but suddenly the both realized the sexual tension between them. It sounded clique but she melted when he touched her. She had known a mans touch before him but, not like this. He was the first guy she had ever met that was able to love her for everything she was. Fear was something she had learned to live with. Love was another thing entirely.

The whole romance was incredible. He just had this overwhelming desire to understand her. Even if his calculations we often completely off the mark, he was the first person to ever try. When he had given up a night of sex to persuade her into telling him her life story it was then she knew that he was 'the one.' Zoë had never seen herself the marrying type but after just over a year of listening to him nag she figured if he was going to act like one, she'd just make him her husband. The ceremony was anything but traditional and that worked just fine for the couple.

Things past meant nothing now while staring down uncertain death. It didn't mean a gorram thing what her past was; all she knew was that her future looked pretty grim. She wished now she had spent more time listening to the Shepherd's lectures when he was onboard. Maybe then she'd have a little faith but, looking at it now, it did him little good, dead is dead.

"I am a leaf on the wind-" She heard Wash say, as the ship came to a grinding halt. He was interrupted by a spear through the chest. Zoë stopped, she had to have seen wrong. "Baby, No!" She ran to him but it was too late. He was dead. If Zoë Washburne had remember how to cry, now would have been the moment. Pushing emotion away in the only way she knew possible, she thought logically. It was probably for the best, at least now he wouldn't have to watch her die. It would have been too much for him. Time was running out, she couldn't stay her all night. She picked up her gun and looked to Mal, who had already wiped the shock off his face.

"Zo? You going to be okay?" he knew was the stupidest question he could have come up with, but he couldn't think of anything else.

"Time to do the job Serg." She held her head up, her sign of strength. She still had a fight left in her, even if the only title she had left was "widow."

"I don't want you going in there for some forced sense of revenge, we haven-"  
"I know Mal, lets go."

When they met in Mr. Universe's lobby it was Kaylee who was the first to notice Wash's abstinence. When she asked, Mal took it upon himself to answer.  
"He won't be joining us." As innocent as she was, Kaylee knew what that meant.

To get into the details of the battle would be a nearly impossible. It wasn't until Simon Tam was nearly shot down that his sister River; the reader, killed each and every Reaver single handedly. How she did it was a mystery since the rest of the crew, minus the captain had been locked behind a security door. Zoë didn't ask questions and to be honest, didn't full well care. All she knew was that she was cheated a death she was more than ready for. The only way back to her love was a cowards and death and if nothing else Zoë Washburne was not a coward.


	2. Chapter 3

-1Zoë woke up from the dream with a short lived smile. She expected to wake up beside Wash as she always had. That would never happen again. Moping would do her no good, she had to wake up and get ready to face another day. She had been waking up sick to her stomach for a few days. She knew she should go see Simon about it but she didn't want to be a bother. She'd just do as she always did a tough it out.

She put on her clothing and put her hair into a messy pony tail. She was never one to care about her looks but she found herself even less concerned. Mal looked at her differently now, he tried not to but he could see the sympathy in his eyes. She didn't want it, she just wanted things to go back to normal.

Simon and Kaylee couldn't see much beyond themselves except of course for River. They had both moved into Kaylee's room and Simon even pretended to like the flowers and Christmas lights everywhere. It was endearing, at least if you liked that kind of thing. River actually seemed to be getting better, so long as they kept her away from any politicians she didn't usually have any dark secrets to reveal.

She entered the galley just as she always did. Kaylee was cooking up something that smelt incredible. Where they had managed to get food was anyone's guess but Zoë wasn't complaining. Suddenly the smell turns on her and what was a moment ago appetizing turned her stomach. She ran out of the room with out a word and made it half way to her cabin before she threw up. She heard footsteps behind her and turned to see Simon wide eyed and shocked. "I'll clean it, I promise." With that Zoë passed out.

Simon walked back into the galley, Kaylee looked over at him.

"Is Zoë alright?" He motioned for her to follow him; River stood up from the table and watched over the stove. She smiled at Kaylee and Simon knowing full well what was going on and knowing better than to say anything about it. Soon as Kaylee was out of the galley she spotted Zoe, still passed out on the floor next to her own vomit.

"Well, that's unpleasant."  
"We need to get her to the sick bay, without making a big deal or she will have my head when she wakes up."  
"Did she say that?"

"Just 'I'll clean it. I have a feeling I know what the problem is.'"

Between the two of them, they managed to drag Zoe into the sick bay and managed to clean everything up without being noticed. After running some tests Simon found the situation to be exactly as he had thought it was. He looked at Kaylee,  
"Kay?" She looked up at him, honestly worried.  
"There's nothing wrong with her." A bittersweet smile crossed his lips, "Unless you count pregnancy as wrong."


End file.
